6.25. why can't I breathe whenever I... set foot in this country?

Liz Phair was playing over the loudspeakers at the dim sum eatery we went to last night.

It was kind of surreal listening to "Why Can't I" while looking at my cousin's girlfriend across the table, eating her "fengzhua," which for all of you keeping score at home, basically means chicken feet. But I mean, there're a lot of surreal things here. Beijing still seems like a huge dream sometimes. It shouldn't be. I was born here, and I spent seven years here before I was shipped off to the other side of the Pacific and made to learn that "one cat, two cat" is not actually grammatically correct. But really. It's like a dream.

I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning, so yeah, I fooled around online, learned that LJ was not to be mine for several months (I don't know how I'm going to survive, honestly. Like... it's like disappearing from Facebook for a month! But only a month because Facebook deprivation for a month = LJ deprivation for three, pretty much), and despaired. I also wrote a long-ass e-mail to my parents in Chinese that at least my mom was happy about, which meant yay. My cousin and his girlfriend got me out of here around 9:30 or so, and we drove to their workplace, which is a small boutique that sells fake Louis Vuitton, Chanel and Gucci, along with the frivolous sort of clothing that is both the hallmark of Beijing girls (sizes 0 and under, thank you very much) and the bane of my mother's existence. In other words, it's a normal boutique in Beijing, and my cousin kindly offered to get me a free bag, but my taste is just really too simple for what Beijing fashion is like... Lucy and I dissected this idea this afternoon, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

After hanging around their store a little, I called up Lucy, who lives in Changping, and we made a date at Wangfujing, which is one of Beijing's big shopping intersections. And when we say shopping, we mean pretty much all kinds of shopping - from United Colors of Benetton to Burberry to the kind of place where you can bargain a notebook from 28 RMB down to 10. My cousin drove me there, and it was awesome to actually find Lucy because we had arranged to meet in front of XinTianDi, one of the malls there, which actually had multiple entrances! It should've been harder to find her, in retrospect, but my eyes are good. We ran around the mall and the bookstore at Wangfujing for two hours, gabbing in English and interspersed bits of Chinese. Sometimes because we felt like it, sometimes because we were too excited to speak in Chinese. And got weird looks from a lot of people.

The debate of the hour: Beijing fashion. Basically, we were being judged all the time... to give you a picture... Lucy was wearing a brown tanktop, and khaki shorts, with a sequined-ish golden purse and flip-flops. I was wearing flip-flops, a green tanktop from GAP, and a flowery patterned brown and white skirt from Wet Seal, and carrying a small black tote from the Seminary Co-op. If you were in America, you wouldn't take a second look at us. In one of the most crowded shopping districts of Beijing, we stood out (if you bothered to look at us) like a sore thumb. First of all, no one did their hair like me - and I mean no one. Lucy at least had hers half permed and curly, which was the same for about half the girls we saw. Secondly, we were just dressed too plainly. Most of the girls who went by were dressed up - something shiny, or flowery, or sequined, or bright pink or yellow or green. Or something. They also had huge rhinestone clips in their hair, and were thin as sticks. Lucy and I, who both are about 5'8'' and 5'6'' respectively, and more or less under 150 pounds, were the fattest chicks around. No lie. The most interesting thing about China is that ordinary girls who walk around on the street actually LOOK LIKE the models in the advertisements. Srsly. And we also wore flip-flops, which are a definitely dress *down*. Since I'm also kind of tall for an Asian girl (and Lucy DEFINITELY is), we also didn't need to wear high heels, which they were also all wearing. *fume* Just because I don't want to kill my feet all day... basically, we were way too dressed down for Beijing. One guy told us we definitely looked like we weren't from around there. I'd like to have asked him exactly where we looked like we came from. But I'm not sure if it's just a commentary on Americans, who are just used to having all the money in the world and dressing like they earn minimum wage. It's difficult to strike a balance between the perfect FOB in America, and the stereotypical ABC in China. (See glossary!) After all, I'm just not the kind of girl who goes around with silver lame purses and teetering high heels. I like cardigans, and flats, and bookish totebags. And looking 40, as Anneke would say.

The highlight of our trip was probably running through the bookstore at Wangfujing, and kicking up a storm in the foreign language section. I was hunting for some sort of German-English dictionary, and Lucy a French-English one, both of us for our civ programs in autumn quarter (I'm in Vienna, she's in Paris). We found some hilarious English-French-Chinese ones, which were cute, and also the foreign import section, which was amazing. They had such a good collection of English classics, right off the bat. Shakespeare and the Western Canon. Pretty much. More than once, we exclaimed, "We can do our civ booklist shopping here!" There was also an excellent bestseller section, with two whole shelves for Haruki Murakami, a good section on entrepeneurship, etc., and of course, small paperbacks, the domain of Michael Crichton and LaVyrle Spencer. Some of the books were more expensive in RMB (it's about a little less than 7 RMB to the dollar right now), but some were a lot cheaper. Like a paperback of "Anne of Green Gables" for 20 RMB? You can't get that for USD3! Really. Our favorite, however, was the travel section. Lonely Planet had a great selection, from Myanmar (Burma) to Venice to Chicago (!), but the most puzzling thing was the conspicuous lack of China. We had to ask a salesperson, and he admitted that it actually wasn't allowed to be imported. And then we laughed like crazy, and I swore to find out once I was back in the States exactly what kind of sensitive dirt Lonely Planet had on the Chinese government. It was also cool because our salesperson was an adorable guy who asked us where we were from, and we had a few nice exchanges. I think that Lucy and I may also pick up a present for Richard - perhaps a Chinese translation of Kant's "Critique of Pure Reason"? Or Hegel? He does follow you everywhere.

Afterwards, we picked up a lamb kebab each while strolling along one of the smaller side roads, filled with vendors who were selling the cheap stuff you can even get in Chinatown in Chicago. (P.S. They have... like, scorpion kebabs. And cicada kebabs. But the scorpions were still writhing on the sticks. It was really really disturbing. I didn't like to look at them, let alone imagine eating them. Gawd.) And Lucy helped me bargain this notebook down to 10 RMB. (Yes, that's slightly over a dollar, folks.) It's really cute, with a soft blue embroidered cover, and I'm thinking of buying more for presents back home. If you buy a ton, too, it's easier to bargain down. Which is good 'cause I suck at it. I'm just too nice, and you can smell the foreigner on me from a mile away in those circumstances. Part of the key to bargaining is to pretend you don't really want something, and I am so bad at lying it should be illegal. Ugh.

We parted ways, after promising to pull together some UChicago'10 party at KTV (hello, karaoke!) and possibly traveling to Shanghai during August to see Lisa (and maybe even with Sam. Whoa.), and my cousin drove me home. We had a pretty good dinner, cooked by my aunt, and I sat and watched a bit of a TV drama involving killing monks. (Man, Buddhism is not entirely a pacifist religion, no matter what they want you to believe.) And now I'm really freaking tired, but I can't go to sleep until at least 10 p.m., because I'll wake up at 6 again tomorrow if I'm not careful.

At least we brought a cell phone number during the day, and my cousin's girlfriend has an old one I can use for the summer. Whee. I will be phone-ed very soon, and can send it out to people, and bother them. Excellentatious. I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep writing these wicked long posts, but I see and feel so much and have so much to say that Chinese doesn't give me the capability to express.

As Lucy commented today, "I haven't talked so much in a long time that my throat hurts." I feel like I've said a lot too. Here's to becoming as loquacious in Chinese this summer as I am in English. Or perhaps even more, since I can pick up more swears from my cousin. One can only hope.

(Glossary: FOB means Fresh Off the Boat, indicating a large degree of naivety about American culture, where as ABC means American-Born-Chinese, or someone who looks like they should speak with a proper Beijing accent, but is really American at the core. I'm definitely not the former, but I'm not sure how far from the latter I am at times.)